“The one who gives an answer before he listens—this is foolishness and disgrace for him." Proverbs 18:13 (CSB)

One of the problems with humans is that we like to fix things. When we see a problem, we want to quickly jump to how we can solve it so we can move on. But God wants you to be a feeler before you’re a fixer. He wants you to feel someone’s pain before you try to solve the problem.

“The one who gives an answer before he listens—this is foolishness and disgrace for him" (Proverbs 18:13 CSB).         

You may be barely into a conversation before you think, "I know how to fix this." But that's not loving. People don't care what you know until they know that you care. They want to feel heard. They want to feel loved. They want to feel understood.

There is healing in sharing. Your ear is a healing tool God can use if you'll learn to listen without trying to fix anything.

In John 11, when Jesus heard that his friend Lazarus was sick, he delayed and took three days to travel what should have taken less than a day. By the time Jesus arrived, Lazarus had died. His sisters were grieving and told Jesus that if he had come sooner, Lazarus would not have died.

Jesus’ delay might seem callous, but he had a plan: He didn’t want to heal Lazarus. He wanted to raise him from the dead to show that he, Jesus, was the Son of God. He already knew the solution before Lazarus even got sick.  

"Jesus saw her weeping, and he saw how the people with her were weeping also; his heart was touched, and he was deeply moved. ‘Where have you buried him?’ he asked them. ‘Come and see, Lord,’ they answered. Jesus wept” (John 11:33-35 GNT).    

Jesus was not unconcerned about their pain. When he saw everybody around him grieving, he mirrored it. He entered into it. Jesus knew the solution, but it didn’t keep him from sharing their grief. He shared their feelings, not his solution.

You may know the solution to someone’s problem, but you need to hold off. If you're going to be a great listener, you've got to listen to their feelings and enter into their pain.