“When others are happy, be happy with them, and when they are sad, be sad.” Romans 12:15 (CEV) 

At some point in your life, someone close to you will likely go through a divorce—and one of the best ways you can support them is with prayer. Another way is to simply be willing to share their pain.

Job’s friends shared in his pain by showing up after he had lost almost everything. The Bible says, “When Job’s three friends . . . heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him” (Job 2:11 NIV).

There’s an interesting truth about pain and joy. Whenever you share a joy, it gets doubled. If you tell me something good that’s happened in your life, your joy grows even more.

But it’s the opposite with pain. When you share a pain with someone, it’s not doubled; it actually gets cut in half. All of a sudden, you’re not carrying the pain all by yourself. You’re sharing the load with the other person.

The Bible says this in Romans 12:15: “When others are happy, be happy with them, and when they are sad, be sad” (CEV).  And Proverbs 17:17 says, “Friends love through all kinds of weather” (MSG).

People don’t need sympathy. Sympathy says, “I’m sorry you hurt.” Sympathy stands at a distance. Instead, people need empathy. Empathy is different from sympathy. Empathy says, “I hurt with you.” 

But sharing the pain with someone who’s going through a divorce does not mean trash-talking the person who’s hurt them. It means just being there with them, sharing their pain and not saying anything. They don’t need your pious platitudes. They don’t need you to try and talk them out of their pain. They don’t even need your advice in the beginning. Don’t say, “It’s going to be okay.” Just say, “I know you’re hurting. I’m here with you and I hurt with you. I care about your hurt.” 

Have you ever sat with a friend in pain for a solid hour and said nothing? People just need you to be with them. Proverbs 17:17 says this: “A friend loves you all the time, and a brother helps in time of trouble” (NCV). Be a solid friend when someone you love is going through a divorce. Show up and share their pain. Be empathetic. The Bible says that’s what friends do.