“Reliable communication permits progress.” Proverbs 13:17 (TLB)

God’s ideal for your marriage is harmony, unity, and intimacy. The Bible says, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one” (Ephesians 5:31-32 NLT).

The reality is, most marriages fall short of that ideal. But there are some keys that can help unlock the potential of your marriage and help it become all God wants it to be.

One key to a great marriage is communication. The Living Bible paraphrase says, “Reliable communication permits progress” (Proverbs 13:17). If you want to make progress in any relationship, you have to learn how to talk with each other. 

We all have different styles and needs when it comes to communication. One spouse may communicate in facts while the other mostly communicates in emotions. One may communicate in sound bites while the other communicates in mega bites. Good communication in a marriage considers the style of the other person.

Good communication is also honest and straightforward. The Message paraphrase says, “Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong” (Matthew 5:37). 

And sometimes, good communication means that you need to compromise. If you’ve been married longer than a day, you know there are some things you’re just never going to see eye to eye on. In fact, one reason God has given you a spouse is so you can look at life through a different set of lenses. Your background, your personality, and your wiring can all make you see life differently from how your spouse does. And if you don’t compromise, it will lead to destruction. “If a household is divided against itself, that household will not last” (Mark 3:25 GW). 

Couples have to learn to compromise about how they raise their kids, where they spend their holidays, how much time they spend with the in-laws, how their house is decorated, and even what physical intimacy is like in their relationship.

At the end of the day, compromise is about maturity and learning to be unselfish.  The Message paraphrase says, “May . . . God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all” (Romans 15:5).

And really, it’s all about learning to love each other well. At the heart of compromise, and all good communication, is love. Paul writes, “Love . . . does not demand its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NLT).