“You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common.” 1 Corinthians 1:10 (MSG)

When you get married, it’s time to start thinking of “we” instead of “me.” The Message paraphrase says it like this: “You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common” (1 Corinthians 1:10). When you’re considerate of someone else, you pay attention to them, show them courtesy, and treat them with respect and care.

Notice that 1 Corinthians says you need to “learn to be considerate.” It doesn’t come naturally! By nature, we’re selfish. We think about our own needs, hurts, and wants before we think about anyone else. But one of God’s purposes for marriage is to teach us to become more considerate, because that’s how Jesus treats people.

Are you ready to learn to be more considerate in your marriage and even in your other relationships? Here are three practical ways to show consideration to the people around you:

Offer practical help. Consideration means noticing what the other person needs and taking the initiative to ask, “Can I help you?” The Bible teaches, “Serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13 NIV).

Sometimes we’re helpful to each other in big ways, but usually it’s in small ways. Consideration looks like stopping what you’re doing to help your wife bring the groceries in. It looks like putting the kids to bed when your husband is tired. It looks like working together to do weekend chores so you both can have free time later.

Sympathize with their doubts and fears. The Living Bible paraphrase says, “We must bear the ‘burden’ of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others” (Romans 15:1). We often think other people’s fears are irrational, while we take our own fears very seriously. But in a strong marriage, you take your spouse’s fears seriously too.

I grew up out in the country, where we never locked any door. My wife’s family, on the other hand, was diligent about security. Over the years, I’ve worked to be considerate of my wife in this area, even though I don’t have the same concerns.

Forgive their mistakes. You’re imperfect and you married an imperfect person, and that makes it impossible for two imperfect people to have a perfect marriage. Sinners marry sinners, so all marriages need massive doses of forgiveness. The Bible says, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13 NLT). Forgiveness is one of the primary building blocks of marriage. And it’s a way of showing consideration.

James 3 teaches, “The wisdom that comes from heaven is . . . considerate” (James 3:17 NIV). If you want to be wise in your marriage, you need to learn to be considerate of your spouse!