“Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife.” Malachi 2:16 (GNT)

What one word would you use to summarize the whole marriage relationship? “Love” might be the first word to come to mind. But I think a better word is “commitment.” Given the right circumstances, just about any two people can develop loving feelings toward each other. But commitment is at the heart of marriage.

The marriage commitment is one that God expects us to keep. He has strong words about divorce: “‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD God of Israel. ‘. . . Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife’” (Malachi 2:16 GNT). Divorce is a reality in our world, and I’m thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness. But divorce isn’t God’s ideal. His ideal is that each man and woman who vow to stay together for life keep that commitment.

So let me encourage you: If you’re married, throw away the key. Don’t offer yourself an escape hatch. When you said, “Till death do us part,” that was a lifelong commitment. Don’t leave divorce as an option.

Commitment may mean being unhappy or unsatisfied during some seasons, but in most cases, commitment will lead to a more rewarding, fulfilling relationship in the long-term.

One thing that can help keep your commitment to each other strong is contact, or physical affection. Everyone, whether you’re married or not, needs physical contact. Babies who receive more physical touch tend to thrive, and physical touch has been proven to extend the lifespan of adults.

In the early days of a relationship, couples sometimes have a hard time keeping their hands off each other. But as the years go on, sometimes that affection fades. You get tired. You get busy. You let little resentments build up.

I want to encourage you to do this: Act with affection toward your spouse, even if you don’t feel affectionate. Loving actions often lead to loving feelings.

Of course, in marriage, physical affection includes sex. In fact, God gave you sex to help cement your marriage together. The Message paraphrase says, “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one’” (1 Corinthians 6:16)

If you find yourself in a hard season of marriage, take a look at your commitment to each other and how intentional you’ve been about physical affection. And if you’re having trouble in those areas, get help! A good counselor can help you work through any trouble you’re having with physical intimacy and give you practical ways to keep your commitments to each other.