“I pray that your love will keep on growing because of your knowledge and insight.” Philippians 1:9 (GW)

Every marriage is always either growing together or growing apart. Relationships can’t stand still.

So how can you keep your marriage growing? Paul prayed, “I pray that your love will keep on growing because of your knowledge and insight” (Philippians 1:9 GW). It takes knowledge and insight! A good marriage doesn’t just happen; it takes effort.

One of the most important ways to keep your marriage growing is to keep on paying attention. Attention means love. When you’re paying attention to somebody, you’re saying, “I value you. You matter to me. You’re worth listening to.”

When you give somebody your attention, you’re actually giving them your life, because your time is your life and you’re never going to get that time back. So the most valuable thing you can give somebody is your attention.

Paying attention is how you fell in love in the first place! You began to pay attention to somebody, and that somebody began to pay attention to you.

Do you remember how much attention you used to give to your spouse early in your relationship? You bought flowers, wrote notes, and made phone calls. You talked for hours. In all those ways, you were saying, “You have my undivided attention.” But the longer you’re married, the more complacent you tend to become. Your attention is spread to bills, babies, budgets, careers, and hobbies. And the marriage begins to deteriorate.

So let me remind you of a couple of reasons you need to keep paying attention to your spouse. The first is that you love your spouse. And love means paying attention. The second is that God may be speaking to you through your spouse.

The Bible says, “God speaks in different ways, and we don’t always recognize his voice” (Job 33:14 CEV). Sometimes we don’t recognize God’s voice because we’re not listening. But God may by wanting to say something to you right now, and your spouse is the closest megaphone he can find!

Sometimes we don’t pay attention to our spouse because of pride; we think we know it all. Sometimes it’s because of presumption; we think we know what they’re going to say. And other times we’re just in a hurry! But God gives us the antidote to that: “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19 NIV).

If you are quick to listen and slow to speak, you automatically will be slow to get angry. And it will keep your marriage growing and going. You must keep on paying attention.