“Encourage each other every day while it is ‘today.’” Hebrews 3:13 (NCV)

We all need affirmation. That’s how God wired us. In fact, if you’re married, one reason you fell in love with your spouse is that they affirmed you. You still need that affirmation from your spouse—and they need affirmation from you too. One of your God-given roles as a husband or wife is to be your spouse’s biggest fan!

Why is affirmation so important? Because we live in a world where there are a lot of critics. It’s easy to find someone who will put you down. So one of the most important things that you can do is to lift up your spouse by your affirmation.

How often are we supposed to do this? The Bible says, “Encourage each other every day while it is ‘today’” (Hebrews 3:13 NCV). It’s a daily habit.

Here are three things you and your spouse can affirm in each other:

Affirm each other’s value. When a house “appreciates,” it goes up in value. When you appreciate your spouse, it’s like you’re raising their value and the value of your marriage. The Living Bible paraphrase says, “A word of encouragement does wonders!” (Proverbs 12:25).

Sometimes it can be hard to think of something to appreciate in your spouse. If nothing else, you can at least appreciate that they’ve stuck with you and not given up on your marriage.

Affirm each other’s strengths. We blossom with affirmation. When you praise your spouse’s strengths, you help them grow. One of the greatest models of this is the apostle Paul. In his day, the church in Corinth had a lot of problems. But when he wrote to them, he said, “I have great confidence in you, and I have a lot of reasons to be proud of you” (2 Corinthians 7:4 GW). He affirmed their strengths, the good things about them.

It’s your job to bring out the best in your spouse. And you can’t bring out the best by pointing out the worst. You bring out the best in someone by pointing out the best. So decide to be a dream builder and not a dream buster; decide to brag, not nag. Make that decision, and watch the difference it makes.

Affirm each other’s ministry. Affirm what your spouse is doing for God’s sake in the world today. Romans 1:12 says, “I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you” (NCV). 

As you and your spouse affirm each other’s value, strengths, and ministry, you’ll become each other’s biggest fans and see your relationship grow.