“God . . . raises the dead to life and creates new things.” Romans 4:17 (CEV)

It’s possible to have the marriage you’ve always dreamed of if you do it God’s way. The Bible says, “God . . . raises the dead to life and creates new things” (Romans 4:17 CEV).

In our world today, many people find that their fairytale wedding has turned into a horror story.  If you can relate, God wants to give you a marriage makeover to change you, change your spouse, and change your marriage into one that’s happy and honoring to you and God.

Before you can improve your marriage, you’ve got to understand what causes marriages to go from harmony to hostility to apathy. There are four things that can cause this, and today we’re going to look at the first two. 

The first thing that can sink a marriage is unrealistic expectations. 

There is no area of life where we have higher and more unrealistic expectations than we do in marriage. People think marriage will make their lives completely perfect, but they’ve been misled. Hollywood loves to show us the unrealistic movie romance or the picture-perfect wedding day or the flawless honeymoon.

The truth is, every marriage is made up of two imperfect people. And when you put two imperfect people together, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Part of keeping a marriage from becoming hostile or apathetic is realizing you need to grow up. Be realistic. Your spouse isn’t perfect, and neither are you.

The second thing that can sink a marriage is unaccepted differences. 

You and your spouse are different. Have you learned that yet? Once you recognize that, then you need to choose to accept their differences. If you don’t, you’ll eventually start to resent them.

You’ve all heard the cliché that opposites attract. It’s true. Before marriage, you tend to overestimate what you do have in common and underestimate what you don’t have in common.

But after marriage, too often opposites attack. What used to fascinate you now frustrates you. Men and women think very differently. You’ve probably heard the old saying that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. That’s not true. We’re not from two different planets; we’re from two different galaxies! So you have to learn to get along and accept your differences.

That doesn’t mean to just tolerate them. It means to value them. In God’s wisdom, he always puts opposites together for a purpose. 

Did you know that if you’re married, God’s number one tool for helping you grow spiritually is your spouse? He uses your differences intentionally to help you grow.

Tomorrow, we’re going to look at the other two causes that can sink a marriage, which you need to understand before you begin the work of improving your relationship with your spouse.