“God is always at work in you to make you willing and able to obey his own purpose.”
Philippians 2:13 (GNT)

In order for your marriage to be all that it can be, you may need to ask God for a marriage makeover. Yesterday we learned it’s important to accept responsibility for your part, believe God can change your marriage, and commit to doing whatever it takes. Here are three things more you can do:

To get a marriage makeover, you must deal with unresolved hurt. You do that two ways—by asking for forgiveness and by offering forgiveness. 

There will be times when you need to admit to your spouse that you were wrong and ask for forgiveness. The Living Bible paraphrase says, “Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). There are three little words you must learn to say in marriage: I was wrong.

The Living Bible says this: “Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13). If you’ve decided “I’m not going to forgive them,” you are choosing to ruin your marriage. A marriage cannot make it without forgiveness on a daily basis. 

Next, to get a marriage makeover, you must enlist support from others.

Don’t go through struggles alone. The truth is our culture tends to work against successful marriages. You can find plenty of people who will say to you, “Just get out. Don’t put yourself through this.”

It might take some work to find people who will support and strengthen your marriage. Proverbs 24:3 says, “It takes wisdom to have a good family, and it takes understanding to make it strong” (NCV). Seek out a wise friend or church counselor, a marriage mentor, or a couple whose marriage you admire.

Lastly, to get a marriage makeover, you must focus on trusting Jesus.

You’ve got to put him at the center of your life and marriage. “We must focus on Jesus, the source and goal of our faith” (Hebrews 12:3 GW).  

Marriage is a three-legged stool. A two-legged stool will fall over because it has no stability. It takes three to make a marriage work—you, your spouse, and God. God never meant for marriage to be just two. You need Christ at the center of your life and marriage.

Some of you think you married the wrong person. So what should you do? Divorce them? God wants to say to you today, “No! You made a vow. Let me do a miracle makeover. I will change you and your spouse, and I will give you the marriage you’ve always dreamed of if you’ll do it my way.” Friend, love is a choice. It’s not totally out of your control. If you choose to love, the feelings will return.