“Love . . . never stops hoping, never gives up.” 1 Corinthians 13:7 (GW)

We’ve been looking at the choices that help a marriage stand the test of time. Yesterday we talked about choosing to extend grace. Today I want to share the final two choices that will help you build a love that lasts.

Lasting love expects the best. It’s hopeful and forward-looking and optimistic. It’s not stuck in the past.  First Corinthians 13:7 says, “Love . . . never stops hoping”(GW) and “always expects the best” (MSG). 

Here’s the problem: The longer you’re in a relationship with an imperfect person, the more you tend to expect the worst because you know their faults and weaknesses better than anybody else. But when you expect the worst, you set yourself up for a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You can’t change bad behavior into good behavior by telling somebody they’re bad. You change bad behavior by helping them see a picture of what they could become. Don’t tell it like it is. Tell it like it could be. Treat people the way you want them to become. 

The Living Bible paraphrase says, “If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him” (1 Corinthians 13:7).

The fourth choice for growing a love that lasts is this: Lasting love endures the worst.

Some of you are in an unhappy marriage right now, and you’re ready to give up. On behalf of God, I say this: Don’t. Don’t you do it. You have no idea what you’ll miss. It’s always more rewarding to restore a relationship than to run from it. 

I know that some of you have endured so much pain. Don’t waste it. At least get something from it.

Some of you feel like you can’t trust your spouse anymore. If that’s the case, here’s what you do: You trust God. Say, “God you’re greater than my spouse, and I’m going to trust you to work in their life and to take care of me.” Before you give up on the relationship, give God a chance. 

Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust God all the time. Tell him all your problems, because God is our protection” (NCV). Your spouse is not your protection. God is your protection.

Some of you have a spouse who’s walked away from God, and they don’t even believe in him anymore. But guess what? God does not want you walking away from them. They need you now more than ever.

The Bible says, "A despairing man should have the kindness of his friend, even if he forsakes the fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14 BSB).

I want you to notice something about the choices that grow a lasting love: extending grace, expecting the best, and enduring the worst. They are the same ways Jesus loves you. 

If you want to learn to love people the way Jesus loves, here’s the secret: Get Jesus in you. Only with him in your life will you ever be able to love your spouse with God’s everlasting love.