“Let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up.” Galatians 6:9 (TLB)

God specializes in marriage makeovers. He specializes in bringing dead, stagnant, and stale things to life again. 

If you’ve ever watched a makeover on TV, you know that the point isn’t to make someone totally different but to enhance what they’ve already got. In a marriage makeover, God does the same thing. He wants to take what you and your spouse already have and make something fresh, exciting, attractive, fulfilling, and wonderful out of it. 

The first step to a marriage makeover is to accept responsibility for your part.

Galatians 6:5 says, “Each person must be responsible for himself” (NCV). You can’t control your spouse’s actions or attitudes. All you can do is work on changing yourself. When you work on you and stop trying to work on them, the equation changes. When you act differently, your spouse will have no choice but to relate to you in a new way.

The biggest barrier to accepting responsibility is what I call the myth of incompatibility. We’ve all heard someone say, “We’re just incompatible.” The problem is really an issue of maturity. I want what I want; you want what you want. I’m stubborn; you’re stubborn. I’m selfish; you’re selfish. On the other hand, if you can accept responsibility for your part in the problems, you can begin to heal your marriage.

The second step to a marriage makeover is to believe God can change your marriage.

You may be feeling deep hurt or disappointment or apathy about your marriage. Regardless of how you feel, let me tell you this one truth: God has not given up on your marriage; he can do what you can’t do. 

God doesn’t want to give you a marriage makeover in order to trap you or make your life miserable. He hates divorce; he knows how it hurts his children. He wants your marriage to work because he knows the joy it can bring to your life.

The third step to a marriage makeover is to commit to doing whatever it takes.

The Living Bible paraphrase says this: “Let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up” (Galatians 6:9). Whenever you see a great marriage, you can be sure it didn’t come from luck. It came from a lot of effort. Great marriages don’t just happen. If your marriage is going to get better, it’s going to take real effort. 

How do you find the emotional energy to begin to make the effort? Pray and obey. Pray to God for the strength to keep fighting for your marriage, and then obey what he tells you to do.